He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
