Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
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I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
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also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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