Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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