I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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