I need to stop coming to work sober
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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