hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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