I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
How does it feel to date your dad?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
