dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
