out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting