Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
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You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.