You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.