You smell like a Billy Joel song
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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