Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
