Already got asked if we're dating
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Small penises have feelings too.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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