Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
