fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
