no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Boobs are out for the taking
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize