ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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