I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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