The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
