I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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