"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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