question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
