I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
