are you still at the devil's house?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
