He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
