I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
