Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
there was a trapeze. enough said
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize