Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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