i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
