there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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