You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You ruined the universe
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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