just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
