at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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