that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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