i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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