Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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