dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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