I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you didnt know i had herpes?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
