I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize