Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
