found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
