I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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