i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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