His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
