you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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