Jerry, you need to find god
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
