TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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