I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
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I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
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Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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