I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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