party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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