okay pat passed out under dana's car
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
