How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize