hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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