He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
