After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
