allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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