$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
